Full Moon

In preparation for my first Racing the States race, I was thinking about the last time I did the Horsetooth Half.  It was a blast as much as it was difficult, but I don’t want to talk about the race itself, not just yet. I was to tell you a funny story about a fellow competitor. Hopefully you’ll find it as funny as I did….

In the beginning, I started out by focusing on just myself and making it up the  gruesome hills. There was plenty of people around me, but I didn’t want to pay much attention to them. Once I was out of the trouble areas, I started taking in my surroundings to take my mind off the physical pain I was in (it WAS after all, my first half!). I instantly focused on this one woman who looked to be in her 30’s. She was running about my pace – most of the time. She was they type of runner that would randomly speed up but you knew it was too much for her because suddenly you were running right beside her again. These runners drive me bonkers, and I don’t know why! It just annoys me.  And that’s how it was the whole race…back and forth, back and forth. Anyway, this women had every bad race habit you could think of.  For instance, when she was in front of me and we passed a water station, she would just stop running, dead in her tracks. UGH! I pretty much ran completely into a few times on my drive  run by water grab.

So, after probably mile 6 or so, she finally realizes that her bladder is full. Keep in mind, this race is pretty popular and there’s port-o-potties at almost every water station. This woman heads to the side of the road. Drops her shorts. Squats down, barring all, and pees – right there. Full moon! Worst of all….there was a ditch right on the side of road she could have ducked into. Obviously she wasn’t shy. But man, I don’t want to see her bare butt – it wasn’t even that cute! I shook my head and kept on running, only to have her end up right beside me again.

calving pissing

Calvin will pee on you!

Needless to say, I HAD to beat her, even if only by a few seconds. So for the remaining few miles, it was the same back and forth with her ahead of me then behind me. Once I saw the sign for 13 miles, she was in front of me at the time, I picked up the last ounce of my strength, dodged her bony little elbows that were trying to keep me at bay (yep, she was an elbower), and I beat her!

I don’t know why this woman annoyed me so much, but she did. And usually I’m not that competitive against other people. I am only trying to beat my goals and my own records, but in my head, I had to beat her because of her annoying race antics.

Does anyone else have any funny race stories or other competitors that annoyed them? Or have you pulled your pants down on the side of the road before??


Use these...or piss down your leg like REAL runners do! jk, i've never pissed down my leg...yet!

5 thoughts on “Full Moon

  1. I love being a man. Yes I do. Women have plenty of advantages, but I’d trade them all for the ability to pee on a tree.

    I can’t believe you actually ran into a squatter. That’s hilarious.

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