I have some good news and some bad news. I would say I would start with the bad news first and end with the good, but it’s all kinda combined together.

Do you know how hard it is to write about running when you haven’t been running much?? Well, it’s pretty hard. It’s like a guilty feeling. Good news is, I’ve been slowly getting back to my normal running…

Running Updates:

My last post before my New Years Resolutions was about hitting my training “wall” and unfortunately I haven’t run many miles since that post.

December flew by in the running world due to many reasons. Here are the many reasons excuses why I didn’t run (in order):

1. The first week or so, Denver was plagued with absolutely freezing weather.  Like “boogers you didn’t know you had instantly freeze in your nose” freezing.  Since I don’t have a gym membership, I didn’t get much running in. (I coach boot camp at a community college where we “rent” their gym, but due to changes with our contract, I felt awkward working out there. It’s hard to explain and would be a very long story).

2. At the end of my last long run, I believe the end of November or very early December, I developed horrible knee pain, so I was also scared to run again.

3. Then, I was hit with the flu mid December. It knocked me on my ASS! I had the fever, body aches, coughs etc. I didn’t move from my bed for about 3 days, and when I finally did, I only managed to make it over to the boy’s house, make homemade soup with equally sick him, and back to sleep again.

4. Once I was able to move again, I still had a dreadful cough. Horrible! I didn’t want to compromise my lungs with a cold run, or any run in general.

5. Then finally, around the holidays, I was invited to spend the week in Breckenridge with the boy and his family and spent every day snowboarding (and before you assume, yes, I still was at the end of my sickness…and yes, I chose to snowboard through it – don’t judge me. I do what I want!). Even when we returned after that week, we drove up there a handful of other times. (Just so you know, I’ve been snowboarding more times this seasons than my last two seasons put together!!).

6. Then finally, I decided to lace my shoes back up and oh man..the pain! I had a horrible pain, made me cry pain! It was in my left knee! Which was really strange to me, because I have no pain when I snowboard.

Just to put this in perspective for you, we are now were in the first week in January in this story.

I really wanted to run a race on the first, but I’m glad I didn’t, because I’m guessing with the knee pain I experienced a week into January, a race wouldn’t have gone well. I went snowboarding New Years day instead. It was Jan 6th when I laced my sneakers back up again. I know this exactly because I cool running log book from my Mom for Christmas!

I decided to just go for it and run at my work; weird feelings and all. (It’s a really complicated situation, I swear). I ran for about 1 mile only on the treadmill that day and the knee pain started. I ran through it at first, thinking it was just one of those weird tweaks or something. You know what I mean, right? But when it wouldn’t go away, I hopped off the treadmill.

The next day, I decided to aim for a small three mile run, outside, to try it again. I only made it about a mile before I was crying, in public, because my knee was reallllllllly painful. I was a mile from home, so I had to scrambled back. I walked a bit and the pain would subside. Then I would pick the pace back up only to pick the pain back up as well. It was terrible.

Before you assume, I had been making sure to stretch and foam roll. I do need to do it more, but since I discovered the pain, I’ve been foam rolling before the few runs I’ve done and then foam rolling again with static stretches (just like I learned from school) after my run. I also foam roll and stretch a lot on my non-running days.

I tried the treadmill again the next day and only made it about a quarter mile before my knee was killing me.

This is when someone asked me the question: “Does your knee hurt when your snowboard?” It hadn’t been previously, so that brings us up to two weekends ago. I was working an odd job up in the mountains where I got to snowboarding a tiny bit (see a little later in this post for more, fun, info), and no pain! What. The. Heck?????

I was on my feet pretty much all weekend, so I rested Monday and Tuesday and decided to give it a try again on Wednesday.

I tied my shoes, stretched my legs, and attempted to run….I made it through a 2 mile run with NO PAIN! I was really achy afterward, but there was none of the sharp pain I felt inside my knee when I was actively running. So that’s good. And confusing.

In order to figure this out and not cause damage, I’m taking this running thing slowly. Realllllyy sllloowwly. I rested on Thursday and went snowboarding friday.

I laced up the ol’ tennis shoes on Saturday and ran 3 whole miles with no pain!!!

I worked the Bronco’s game on Sunday (WOOT! GO BRONCOS!) and was on my feet all day.

Then Monday, yesterday, I managed to get through 3.2 miles, no pain. Well, not entirely. At about 2.75 miles, the pain was staring to show up…but I was so close to home, I kept going….and wouldn’t ya know, the pain just vanished!

UGH! So confusing! But that brings me to my next update….

Sedona Marathon Updates:

I’m not doing the Sedona marathon. There it is. And I’m super bummed (Biggest understatement of the year).

I was actually crying when I started this post.

So you read about the knee pain I was experiencing…

After the holidays, I was pretty confident I could get myself in marathon – endurance shape by the beginning of February. At that time, I didn’t know I would still have the knee pain.

Even if I didn’t have knee pain or even if I was back up to marathon endurance, the fact of the matter is I can’t afford to do the race. I never registered, and I’m glad I didn’t, because then I wouldn’t have been able to afford the travel costs. I’ve been emailing a friend I met while volunteering at Leadville, and she would have housed me (and fed me, she said) but there’s no way I could afford the travel expenses – driving or flying.

Ya know, the knee pain is one thing, and I’m glad I’m not doing it due to that because I don’t want a long-term injury. But when it comes down to the fact that I’m not stable enough, at my age, to afford a race that I can drive to, that’s where I get really upset.

And there’s even more to it than that. You see, running is my thing. It’s pretty unique to me (out of the people I grew up with and am currently around). It defines me. It’s something that I truly am passionate about (hence why I changed my career) and it’s something that makes me incredible happy. Especially racing, and challenging myself (it’s not like I’m breaking olympic records here) And that’s important to me. I know there’s plenty of people in this world that can’t do things they truly enjoy, but running and racing, to keep a long story short, keeps me sane. It’s not like a picked a super expensive hobby.

So when I can’t afford to do the main thing that I enjoy, I get really frustrated because I’ve been trying soooo hard to be able to do things I like for the past few years.

Sorry about that rant.

Which brings me to my next set of updates…

Career Updates:

I’m not trying to tell a sob story here, or make you feel bad for me. I’m just trying to explain that I’ve been working pretty hard to better myself only to keep meeting roadblocks that I have no control over.

I was doing pretty well with my current job (and I feel like I can post about it because I’m 99.9% sure my boss would never read my blog.

Basically, to TRY and make a long story short, I was asked awhile back to put my own personal business on hold by my boss at the boot camp company. She offered me more hours at the time with the goal and intention of getting me closer to full-time soon. This was back in August or September. She wanted help with starting a small group personal training group within her company because small group training is apparently all the rage right now, not one-on-one training.

She also said she would help me learn the ways of the fitness world and it would be way “better” for me. I would get the experience and even though I wouldn’t be making as much per hour as I would on my own, I would be saving in the cost of marketing and stuff like that.

I took a few days to decided and I put Apocalyptic Fitness on hold. I became very loyal to her. Pretty much doing anything and everything she asked with the hopes of getting more and more hours.

With the few months that followed, I was doing alright. I was making ends meet, barely, but things were looking good and promising.

Then, December happened. Our agreement with the gym we kind of rent was changed, as I’ve mentioned previously, and my boss decided she wanted to look for a building of her own. The idea of having our own building opened up many opportunities for her business as well as my career in the long-term future. But in the short-term future, that meant cutting costs to save for this new facility and thus, cutting my already few hours.

I’m pretty disappointed to say the least. I get kinda angry when I start really thinking about it. It’s really frustrating that I put my own momentum on hold only to be let down.

So, with the recent slash in hours, I have been spending a lot of time job searching like crazy and picking up random odd jobs where ever I can.

In the last few months…

…I have worked Bronco Games pouring beer – which is oddly fun and I got to see the last quarter of my Broncos win the AFC Championship!!! SOO exciting! SUPERBOWL!

…I have house sat for a good friend of mine – I slept on the couch with 2 big, fluffy creatures (dogs).

…And the best odd job I have had is working as a Brand Ambassador for Bear Naked Granola in Keystone! I passed out samples, bandanas and best of all, I got the boy a job too and we were sent to the top of the mountain to take super sweet succession shots of people in the Terrain Park! I even go to take picture of the boy wearing some promo gear that Bear Naked Featured on their own facebook page!!! Check it out:

That job was a blast and I will be working with them again in March at Vail!

Anyway, I’ve been job searching and networking as much as possible for additional hours in the fitness world, the running industry (i.e. Cross Country or Track Coach) or the brand ambassador industry (that is a whole, interesting world – people do stuff like that for a living! Can you believe that!?).

I am also looking at starting back at getting Apocalyptic Fitness up and running again. A couple of friends of mine have a little garage in downtown Denver that they use for martial arts instruction and when I get clients, I will be renting the space to use! We have a good thing going here – as long as I get clients! 🙂

I think that covers it for updates… I’m honestly not sure. I’m trying really hard and right this second, I’m feeling pretty optimistic, but when it comes to my current situation, especially related to my recent job changes, I get pretty frustrated.

I was pretty missing in action on my blog, but I have admittedly been missing in action when it comes to real life and my friends as well. It’s a big circle of emotions…I can’t do my marathon because of finances -> my finances were fine until this job -> I’ve been working hard -> etc -> etc…. honestly, I get kinda depressed. And, like a lot of people, I withdraw. In conjunction with the holidays, being out-of-town, and spending a lot of time job searching, I hope this explains a lot to my friends why I’ve been missing in action and may have not followed up on our plans or texted you back. I’m sorry. I’m trying to be better. I have come out of hiding!